What does it matter?

Today is Zachary’s birthday.

I have spent the last two days rather upset over something that somebody said and did that completely contradicted itself. I hate it when people are inconsistent. There are times that I don’t exactly live my beliefs to their fullest, I admit. Everybody slips – I probably more than others. What bothers me is people being consistently inconsistent. If you always say one thing, but do another. Or have rules that apply to everyone but yourself. This is what I’m talking about. It drives me crazy! Well, this is what has been mulling around in my head. Should I confront this person? How do I do that tactfully and without coming off too emotional? (Yes, yet another fault of mine is being overly emotional. I get so worked up that no one pays attention to the logic of my argument. Rather they believe I’ve got “lady issues” or something else that is really bothering me.)

Zachary is sick. He has had a nasty head-cold for a couple days now. We’re finally on the mend, but he’s still not himself. On top of that, his eczema has come back with a vengeance and he is in the depths of separation anxiety. It seems the only peace he has is wrapped in my arms, while we rock out in the corner of his room. I sing and he just collapses on my chest.

While we sat there this afternoon, me belting out “The Beatles”, his peace overflowed to me.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” -- Philippians 4:4-7

How long ago did I memorize these words? Again I must learn to be gentle and patient; filled with rejoicing and never anxious, for it is there that I will find my peace. And not just any peace: a peace that surpasses all comprehension. How awesome is that?

Too often I allow myself to create turmoil. I have a pretty cushy life! I have an amazing husband who not only allows me, but encourages and thanks me for staying home with our kids. We have got a wonderful home – not our dream house, but it is more than comfortable. We never suffer for food or clothes or anything. We are so very blessed! So, why am I always complaining? Why am I always adding drama when I could be bathing in God’s peace? I am in want of nothing, yet I snivel and gripe at things that mean nothing.

And that was my revelation while trying to comfort my son today: it means nothing. All these spits and spats that my female mind needs to dissect while folding laundry or doing dishes mean absolutely nothing! Who cares if I have been wronged? Who cares if things are equal and fair? It doesn’t matter! What does matter are those moments in our red rocker. The moments sitting in the grass blowing bubbles. The moments singing and reading and playing. Time is fleeting and I refuse to waste another moment complaining about those things that mean nothing. I choose peace. To prove it – I am sitting here writing instead of cleaning. Instead of worrying about the thirty plus people who are coming to a birthday party on Saturday, I am meditating and praying. My house is a disaster, and I don’t care. I’ve got a little boy calling out for one more moment with me. I am rushing to enjoy that moment and treasure God’s peace found in it.