Bribes, Fairies and Charity

A dear friend, whose daughter is now eight, gave me a great tip for ditching a pacifier. She recommended snipping off the tip. By doing this, you change sensation caused when sucking on it. When that happens, the child will typically give it up on her own. It’s no longer enjoyable, so they just get rid of it. Fantastic idea – right? I thought so! So, having this morsel in my back pocket, I had no worries about my little one’s attachment to her paci. I figured that when the time came, I would just don my scissors and the deed would be done.

In reality, it was not so easy. You see, my daughter is a genius! Okay, maybe it is more that I snipped too much. Regardless, it didn’t work. I snipped the tip and marched up to her room at bedtime very excited that this may be the last night with her plug. I tucked her in as she grabbed the newly snipped paci. She popped it in her mouth and immediately popped it back out. Holding it in her hand, she turned it, carefully inspecting it. Ever so seriously she declared: “Paci broken, Mama.”

“What do you mean?” I waited eagerly for her to say she didn't want it anymore. Could she sense my excitement?

“See?” She pointed to the clipped end. “Broken! Get me ‘nother one, please?”

Reluctantly, sighing with every step, I did get her another one. I know I shouldn’t have, but I was just so surprised that she caught on to exactly what I was doing! She thoroughly inspected the second paci too, holding it up to the light and gently touching every bit to make sure it was just right. “Thank you, Mama. It good.” Melting at the sight of this beautiful face, I kissed goodbye to Plan A.

Plan B: “NJ Parenting Pages” recently published an article about the pacifier fairy. It is something like the tooth fairy. You encourage your child to leave their beloved nuk on the window sill. After they have gone to sleep, the pacifier fairy comes to take it away and leaves a wonderful prize in its place. The article was glowing with optimism and near-guaranteed results. I thought about it, but … I’m not real keen on encouraging my kids to believe in things that don’t really exist. It’s deceitful. If I’m not going to teach them about Santa Claus, then I’m not going to teach them about fairies who come into their rooms at night. So, there went Plan B.

Bribes are always supposed to work – right? Hmmm … we’ve been bribing her to use the potty for some time and that hasn’t totally kicked in yet. Do we have another plan?

In a completely unrelated event, I sat Isabel down for a talk about being a big girl. We had had an unusually rough discipline day. It just happened to be at church in front of a number of other moms and kids while I was trying to teach a class. After her time-out, I explained to her the importance of acting like a big girl and being an example to the other, younger children in the class. We talked about how things change as you get older, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I don’t remember exactly how, but our conversation turned to using the potty and giving up her pacifier. She decided that the babies at church needed her paci more than she did. She asked if she could give all her pacis to them. In a slight state of shock, I answered “Of course! Do you want to do that right now?” It was a Tuesday afternoon, but the church was open, so I figured we could do a little slight of hand.

“Yes, Mama. Let’s go!” I grabbed a bag and Isabel quickly put all her pacifiers inside it. We then piled into the minivan and drove off to church. Well, I did take a little detour first. There is no harm in combining bribery with charity, is there?

At Toys R Us, I let Isabel pick out any two toys she wanted: one for giving up her pacifiers and the other for giving up her diapers. Yet another shock for me – both items she picked were under ten dollars. I was lovin’ this! Alright, on to the church.

When we pulled into the parking lot, Isabel repeated her plan. She wanted to give all her pacis to the babies at church “so they won’t cry more”. My heart was overflowing at her sweet intentions. She requested that Zach stay in the car. She wanted it to be just me and her. Without hesitation, she grabbed her bag of loot and walked, head held high, down that long hallway to the donation table. Gently, she placed them in a stroller left by another church member. Holding my hand, she talked the rest of the day about how the church babies would be happy to have her pacifiers. “No more babies crying, Mama.” I was so very proud of her!

That night Isabel bravely went to bed without a pacifier. Unfortunately, she didn’t sleep. Before too long, she was crying and fussing and begging to sleep with us. By eleven o’clock, we could take no more. We grabbed one of her pacis (Rick had gone back to the church to retrieve them earlier in the evening. Used pacifiers are better off in the garbage than in a donation basket.) and she was out in less than three minutes. First thing the next morning she traded her paci for her toy once again.

It has been three weeks. At this moment, my daughter is sleeping soundly in her bed, pacifier securely between her lips. Anybody got another plan?

My Brigadoon

I have lived on the east coast for thirteen years. This is not where I grew up. I grew up in Indiana. My accent must be muddled because no matter where I go, I am asked where “home” is. We have only lived here for two years, so sometimes my answer is “New Jersey” and sometimes it’s not. When we lived in New York, my answer was always “Indiana”. Now when I

visit Indiana, my accent is enough removed that I can’t say I’m from there anymore. I usually tell them I’m from New York because they know the geography of the east coast as well as east coast people know the geography of the midwest. My fellow Hoosiers know little of what lies east of Ohio and my fellow New Yorkers have no clue what is west of the Hudson River.

Recently we drove “home” to Indiana for a family get-together. This was the first time Rick and I had been there since our wedding – over seven years ago. Surprisingly and not-so-surprisingly, it is the same. That place is my Brigadoon. If I were to leave for a hundred years, I could probably still return to find that only a day had passed. The same farms are owned by the same families. The same restaurants are in the same places with the same signs from over twenty years ago. It seems frozen in time. Of course, the people have changed. They have gotten older and taller. Families have grown. But they are all still there. Some still telling the same jokes and hugging us as if we had never left.

Growing up in our small town, I couldn’t wait to get out. I wanted to travel Europe and move to New York City. Life had bigger and better things for me. I knew it! And I never thought for a minute that I would miss that place. I wanted change and adventure. Well, I have visited Europe and lived in New York. I got out! And I miss that little farm town more than I can express.

In just two days I was reminded of the serenity of rural life. I was reminded of the security of things never changing. Everyone knows everyone else. There are no social pressures to be or do or dress a certain way. The inescapable competition of the northeast seems nonexistent in the Midwest. Oh, I am sure it is there, but it is not as oppressive. I was simply amazed at the peace evident in those whom I visited. We could breathe freely. We could relax.

On our drive home, Rick and I discussed where God wants us to be. We so desire to give our kids roots; to be in one place for their whole childhood. A place where they can come home and bring their children. A familiar haven. As we discussed all that we saw and heard and experienced that weekend, I found myself aching. I wanted exactly what we were leaving behind!

Why am I always so discontent? When I have that, I want this. When I have this, I want that. Why can’t I just be happy with what I have? Well … that’s another story …

Eventually I realized it wasn’t the country I wanted. It isn’t the house on the lake or the friends from high school. Yes, that would all be wonderful, but my heart was aching for the peace. Not the place or the things. The Presence.

I am a do-er. Prayer and silence are not my strongest points. Watch my clone: Isabel talks literally non-stop from her waking moment until ten minutes after we put her to bed. That little girl is the sound track of my inner monologue. I am going non-stop whether I like it or not. Being still and quiet do not come easy to me. I wish I could express this to its full truth! Even when I am praying, lists are being formed in my mind. Things to do later, groceries we need, people to call, books to read …

God reminded me this morning: "Let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” (1 Peter 3:4) THAT is what I want! I don’t need a bigger house or fine jewelry. I want to be adorned with this imperishable quality. I want the tangible presence of God in my every breath.

Lord God, once again I come before You begging for Your perfect presence. Only You can still my heart. Only you can give me a gentle and quiet spirit. Make me more precious in Your sight. By seeking You, I long to bring my Brigadoon to wherever You want me to be. Hold me tightly in the center of your palm that I may not wander. I love You and seek to love You more …

It is the gift of God.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do.” ~ Ephesians 2:8-10 (NAS)

If you’ve been a Christian for long, or even if you haven’t, you’ve probably heard the ticket analogy of salvation. Salvation is like a winning lottery ticket that you find in your front yard. You receive it freely, but you still have to cash it in. This implies that we have some part in our salvation. We have to do something in order to receive the rewards. In this analogy “cashing it in” would be faith. We must have faith in Jesus Christ and His ability to save us. When we acknowledge that only He can save us, that is faith. That acknowledgement and faith is our part of salvation. Makes sense – right?

In an attempt to be more diligent in my memorization, I put Ephesians 2:8-10 up in my kitchen this week. I look at it when I am feeding the kids or cleaning up afterwards. I read it while I eat. It is a wonderful presence and reminder of my new goal. It may have been the constant reading or it, or simply noticing the punctuation … God used this to teach me something new.

We have absolutely nothing to do with our salvation.

I proclaim just as loudly as the next Baptist that salvation is a free gift. There is nothing we can do to earn our ticket to Heaven. But then when really tested on this, we hem and haw over the technicalities. Well, you do have to believe. You have to ask Jesus to be your Savior. You have to confess your sins and ask forgiveness. But other than that … well, and then you really should live a pure life. You need to look like a Christian, not just talk like one. But salvation is free!

I am not a legalist. Really. I firmly do believe that salvation is completely without merit. It is by mercy and grace alone that we may be called heirs of Christ. I just have difficulty defending this sometimes. Until now.

Look between the dashes. It says: “and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” Whenever reading this verse, I thought this phrase referred to the grace. Read the whole verse again. This refers to the FAITH.

Yes, our salvation is by grace – obviously given by God – through faith, which is also given by God. How cool is that! We don’t even have to cash in our tickets. God gives us the faith we need and He requires. It is all a work of God! And the apostle goes on to tell us just that in the next verse: “For we are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus …” God has created us. He gave His Son for us. Through grace He gives us salvation which we may accept through faith – which He also gives us. But there is still more: He created us to do good works. Even those good works have already been prepared BY HIM for us to do.

All this is just more fuel for His glory. May our praise to Him echo like thunder throughout all eternity!

The Bargaining Chip

We’ve been working on potty training Isabel for a while now. Our efforts have been quite hindered, sometimes completely interrupted, by other life events. First her brother was born which led to several family visits. After that we were doing really well! That is, until the holidays came. She broke her leg on Christmas day and was in a splint through half of January. Then came her birthday and more relatives. By the time things settled down, she had lost interest. So, here we are, almost a year after beginning, still working on potty training.

This morning she did great. She initiated a potty time. I read "Madeline" while she sat. When we finished the book, I asked her if she was done. “Ellie, can you make any more come out?”

“You read another book?”

“Is this a bargaining chip?”

“Yes.” Her answer was quick and absolute. It makes me laugh. I’m sure she’s never heard of a “bargaining chip” before. She can’t know what that means, but she certainly derived the significance from our conversation. She would do what I wanted if I would do what she wanted. She would try to go potty more if I agreed to read another book.

Sometimes we look at our relationship with God in the same way. I’ll do what He wants if He does what I want. I’ll give to the poor and be nice to my neighbors in the hopes that He will buy me a bigger house – preferably further away from the poor and these lousy neighbors. But that’s not the way it works. Not exactly.

Let’s look at this philosophy again: I’ll obey His commands IF He agrees to bless me. There are two major problems with this. First, God has already given us salvation through faith in His Son, Jesus Christ. God gave His one and only Son to die in our stead. How dare we ask for more than that? In His love, God tells us we can ask whatever we want on top of that. He even promises that if we ask it in Jesus’ name, He will give it to us. How awesome is His love!

The second problem is the perspective: the belief that we are the ones in control. You see, God has already promised to bless us if we follow His commands. The trouble is in thinking that we know the best way for Him to do that. He will most definitely bless us! It just may not be the way we want. Our blessings may never come in material riches. Instead they may come in a greater understanding of God’s character. A blessing may be disguised in a smile or hug from someone in need. It may be an opportunity rather than a bag of money.

We may want the bigger house or the perfect life, but that isn’t exactly what we need. Just like Ellie and her diapers. She thinks she wants a book, but she has no idea how many more books we can read once she learns how to use the potty. God sees the whole picture. He knows us better than we know ourselves. That includes the blessings we need and the deepest desires of our hearts. Even if we cannot imagine what they may be, He already holds them in the palms of His hands, waiting to give them to us. He will give us everything we never knew we always wanted.

Obedience should never be used as a bargaining chip. Rather make it your response to what God has already done for us. He has given us life! Obedience is a small gift to Him in return. Use this as an opportunity to increase your blessings – the blessings God has intended for you. You’ll be amazed how perfect His blessings are for you.

Backyard Haven

We have no trees in our backyard. We have a short, chain-link fence, a shed and a whole lot of grass. I don’t want to say that we live in a fishbowl, but whenever we are outside, we might as well be in our neighbors’ yards. They can see everything we do and hear everything we say. They let us know it too.

Shortly after we bought this house, the neighbors to our right put up a six-foot privacy fence. All the other neighbors poured upon us unsolicited support. They all wanted us to know they didn’t think our daughter was too loud or obnoxious. They believed we were good neighbors and our little Isabel was adorable. I wasn’t offended by the fence at all -- until I received so much encouragement not to take it too personally.

It doesn’t stop there. One neighbor gives reports to our visiting relatives of what she sees in our yard and relationship. Another reminds us when to trim our trees and edge our lawn. He even offers his tools for us to borrow. Whether we like it or not, we have a very close-knit community.

Because of all this, we don’t spend a whole lot of time out there. We have a picnic or bar-be-cue on occasion, and the kids love to run around when it’s not too hot. But our yard has not been the haven I dreamed of when we decided to buy a house. Lately, I’ve been trying to change that.

We ordered some new patio furniture (even though we don’t have a patio) and now have a little playhouse for Isabel. We pull out the pool more often. The kids love it! And I try to ignore that feeling of being watched.

The biggest change, though, has been in a small corner by the shed. I stole the shade from our neighbors’ wonderfully large oak tree. In it we put a couple old Adirondack chairs given us by my in-laws when they downsized a couple years ago. The chairs desperately need to be refinished, but who has time for that with two toddlers running around? Beside: rustic is in. I pulled out all my un-used pots and filled them with flowers. I even have a little tomato plant out there.

It has been so relaxing to pour energy into this corner of our yard. It gives me something different to do with the kids. Isabel loves watering the plants and helping me trim them. Zach has a great time playing in the grass. It has been a wonderful bonding spot. More than that, it has given me a little haven. I can go out there and read – either with the kids or by myself. I don’t feel so “on display”. I can be still.

“Be still and know that I am God.” -- Psalm 46:10 (NAS)

It is so much easier to know that He is God when we are still. It is not so easy to be still. My times with God seem to mean much more when I spend them outside. Maybe that is because creation screams the praises of its Creator. It could be because other responsibilities are less likely to interrupt or distract me outside. Or maybe I am just a country girl at heart. Whatever the reason, I am better able to be still and know Him when I am outside. I treasure my new little haven. It has been more than worth the work to get it. The expense, creativity and effort cannot compare with the rewards of being still; the moments of quiet now relished.

How about you? Do you have a haven? A quiet place to be still? It doesn’t have to outside. It doesn’t have to be yours alone. It can be a corner in your bedroom or a few moments in the kitchen after everyone else goes to bed. If not, I encourage you to take the time and effort to find a haven for yourself. It is in those quiet, stolen moments of being still that God will make Himself known to you. When you know Him, you can know yourself better … and know the potential He has given you to fulfill the purposes He has planned for you.

A Notorious Messie’s Epiphany

I am a slob. Few will deny it. I love to organize and decorate and have a beautiful home in which to entertain, but I am not necessarily good at any of those things. My mother always told me: “you can’t trust a skinny cook” and “neat people can’t be too creative.” Being creative, it is nigh impossible for me to be neat. Or so is my excuse.

Today I had a breakthrough; an epiphany which should have

been second nature. Are you ready? Here it is: Doing laundry in the laundry room keeps your house neater. Can you believe it? I am blown away! Who would have thought ...

Yes, I understand this is not earth-shattering to you who have it all together. This probably should have been obvious to me, but it wasn’t. I am very excited about this discovery! Furthermore, I am choosing to blame my previous lack of common sense on two things: apartment living and children.

Living in apartments for several years trained me to do laundry in the living room. We would pack up all our clothes and linens and drive to the laundromat or, as with our last apartment, drag them outside, through the snow, down the steps and into the garage where we still had to use all our quarters to get the job done. After spending our loose change in huge machines, we would throw our stuff in baskets (on our good days) or big garbage bags (on our not-so-good days) and reverse the travel. Coming home, all our clean clothes would promptly be dumped on our bed or sofa (whichever best provided the necessary space) where they would sit until we had time to fold them. This tradition has continued far too long. Two years after moving into our own house, I am still doing laundry (without the quarters! Woo-hoo!) by throwing everything in a basket (no more garbage bags) and lugging it upstairs where it sits on our sofa for an undetermined amount of time. Sometimes it is for only an hour or so. Sometimes it may be there for a week. Call it tradition or habit, this is what happens.

And children. Well, we have two kids under the age of three. Our laundry room is in the basement. It serves as a pantry, storage room, and laundromat. It is not exactly a playroom – especially for tots as young as ours. So, this is yet another reason to do laundry in the living room. There I can easily keep an eye on the kids while folding. Of course, this does mean that I get lots of “help.” Ellie is always trying to climb in my basket or run off with the clean underwear on her head. Zach has recently discovered how fun it is to tip over the basket and chew on whatever he can find inside.

But today started a whole new trend. We’ve been working on cleaning and purging in the basement. This means a slightly neater, more kid-friendly environment. I simply put Zachary in his play-yard with some fun toys and gave Ellie some crayons and paper. How long does it take to fold a load of laundry? Not as long as it does with “helpers” in front of the TV. I was done in less than ten minutes! I am shocked. Here, I thought I was multi-tasking, when in truth I was procrastinating and wasting time. And the best part: there is no laundry in my living room. How cool is that?

Yes, this is something I think I may do from now on. Can you imagine? Never having clothes on the couch … Wow. Oooh! And I could get some shelves or even a clothes rod in the laundry room to store things! It is perfectly revolutionary. Maybe it is possible to be creative and neat at the same time. Maybe I am not destined to be a messie forever. I can break the slob in me. *sigh* Now I’m off to make a path in my bedroom

This is my life.

I am about to be published! Yeah!! This article will be the front page feature in the September issue of FaithWriters Magazine.

“Alright, all I need now are your keys.” Slowly, reluctantly I handed the keys to my husband. The keys to my sweet SUV. I loved that car. As I watched my husband drive away with it, I started to cry. More than that. I was sobbing. We were trading in our hip little Honda for a monstrosity: a minivan.

There were several things I promised myself in college. In addition to living without regrets, I promised myself that I would never be domestic. I would never be one of those middle-aged suburban women with decade-specific style who look forward to Tupperware parties.

Now, look at me: I am the very definition of domestic. I am thirty, a wife and stay-at-home-mom to two; living in a safe suburb. I have a mortgage and a minivan. My last night-out was to a Pampered Chef party. Boy, was I excited to go to that! I spend my days planning healthy meals, cleaning house, and evaluating my kids' activities and TV shows. What has happened to me?! This is not the life I was meant to live.

I am supposed to be living in some third-world country feeding the poor and building homes. I am supposed to be working with an effective church-planting mission; inspiring Christians back in the States. My husband is supposed to be a powerful teacher – not a computer geek working for Wall Street. We are supposed to be leaving our mark on the world. Instead I am cleaning crayon marks off the wall.

Getting a minivan was the personification of surrender. Not the peaceful surrender one experiences from submitting to a loving husband or wise and merciful God. No, this was a last-ditch surrender: the reluctant retreat after screaming and fighting and finally raising the flag of defeat. Yes, with two car seats and frequent visits from distant relatives, we need the space. And, yes, the DVD player is great for those long road trips planned. It really is a wonderful car, and an extremely practical choice. But it is still a minivan. All those dreams of changing the world are now forever just that: dreams. How can I change the world in this? It simply screams “un-cool” and “mediocre”. If anything, my purpose is to be extraordinary! There is no way to be that in a minivan.

Okay. Deep breath. Who is really in charge here? God is the creator of all things. He is mighty and powerful and perfect. He knows what He is doing. He is bringing to completion His “plans formed long ago with perfect faithfulness” (Isaiah 25:1, NAS). That is His promise – is it not? How can I doubt that?

Sunrise. Sunset. Another day in our home. I wake up early and feed the kids. We watch a cartoon during breakfast then run outside to play. I chase Ellie around in circles and tickle Zach until he can’t take it anymore. Naptime. Laundry time. Snack time. A trip to the park and an hour of reading the same books – books I’ve had memorized since the first thousand reads. Finally, Daddy comes home. I have an adult to talk to! But only after we have dinner and play a little longer. Bath time. Bed time. This is my life.

Today Ellie came to me holding her doll. “Baby sick,” she said.

“Oh, I’m sorry. What should we do? Do you want some medicine?”

“No, Mama. Let’s pray! Baby better.” Was that my two-year-old? I am blown away. Not only is her first instinct to pray, but she firmly believes that God, her Creator can and will heal her baby.

A little later she comes to me again, this time with a big hug. She explains to me that Zach is her brother. “Thank you, Mama, Zach! Thank you my brother!”

How can I describe this life as anything less than extraordinary? How can I question my purpose when these miracles assault me every moment of every day? Motherhood is an overwhelming responsibility. An intimidating honor. Yes, I am just a stay-at-home mom, but my charge is enormous. God has made me steward of two wonder-packed creations -- to teach, mold, and guide. What an awesome task!

I am changing the world. Perhaps not in a grand, widely-visible way. My name will never be in the ranks of Elisabeth Elliott or Amy Carmichael, but my purpose is no less significant. I am changing the world one tiny soul at a time. How extraordinary.

In five years ...

I am never going to catch up. At this very moment, my kitchen is overflowing with dirty dishes, including a pot still holding dinner from two nights ago. My living room is littered with toys, books, mail and laundry. My bedroom is still mid-purge – displaying piles of clothes to keep, donate and trash. (The home-style “Clean Sweep” started last month.) In the other bedrooms are two sleeping children. Peace. Finally.

The day has already been filled with morning rituals of getting dressed (a trial in and of itself), VBS, lunch, dancing around the living room and singing a bazillion songs, reading our Bible stories and finally, now, naptime. There is plenty that I should be doing, but I am not interested.
All I want to do is rest. I want to sit. I want to read. I want to write. I do not want to clean or do laundry. I do not want to vacuum. I want to hoard this time for myself. I want to process all that my mind has absorbed and created in the last so many hours.

I remind myself that I should focus on the important, not just the urgent. Sometimes that distinction is muddled. Is it more important for me to have a clean home or to express myself creatively? Will these thoughts be lost if I wait until my home is neat? By the time I get my chores done, the kids will wake up and this moment will be gone. I cannot waste this time. So, how should I use it? Once gone, it cannot be retrieved again. It is lost. Time continues to pass and still I have no answer.

Lord God, please guide me. Help me to see what is important and urgent to You. Help me to be where You want me to be, to receive the blessings You hold for me.

My husband keeps reminding me, “In five years you can do whatever you want to do.” I will be able to write or read or work … whatever I want to do. Our youngest is just ten-months-old. In five years he will be headed off to kindergarten and my days will be mine again.
In five years my days will be my own again. I will have a few hours while the kids are in school to chase after my personal ambitions and dreams. I will have some peace and quiet to accomplish things just for me. In five years my house will always be clean and menus never last-minute. In five years I will no longer have a potty chair in my living room. I will no longer have to vacuum crushed Cheerios out of highchairs. I will get a shower every day.

In five years my little ones will be in school. They will be learning from their teachers and classmates. They will be reading and writing and creating on completely different levels than now. They will be out of my house and out from under my feet.

In five years my days will no longer be spent dancing and chasing and blowing bubbles in the grass. Dandelions and clover will no longer be treasures to be hidden in Mama’s purse. There will be no time for lazy cuddling in the mornings. We will never spend an entire weekday in our pjs. In five years my little ones will no longer be little.

Oh God, please slow down these next five years! Forgive me for wishing away a single moment. Keep me mindful of how fleeting this time is. Help me to cherish every mess I must clean; to laugh at every toe stubbed on toddler toys. Forgive me for sighing at the crumbs in my purse and the fingerprints on my TV. Keep my little ones little and me still. In five years, I can fold clothes and sweep floors and write. Help me to remember what is important in this moment. Everything else will just have to wait five more years.

The beginning.

This is the beginning. Recently while praying about what God would have me do, I stumbled across a site for a writing class. It was an online course specifically for Christian inspiration. I have always loved writing. Many friends have affirmed and encouraged me in this area, but I've not taken it too seriously until now. So, here we go! The best way to get better at anything is to practice. Consider this my practice room.

As a way of introduction ... I am the extremely blessed wife of Rick and the mother of Isabel (a.k.a. "Ellie") and Zachary. Aside from my relationship with God, they are my life! It is from and through them that I am inspired, challenged and blessed. They keep me busy, laughing, smiling, running, living. My hope is to share what God has taught me about Himself. He is so good! He is faithful and true and perfect. It is only because of His love and grace that I am here. It is only for His glory that I write.

All else is worth nothing, but if you want details, here goes. I have a BS from Philadelphia Biblical University. I have lived in on a farm in Indiana, the ghetto of Philadelphia, the suburbs of NYC, a war zone in Bosnia and a small apartment in the Swiss Alps. I've done youth ministry, overseas missions, humanitarian aid, taught ESL and art. I've been a secretary, finance analyst, artist, writer, teacher, camp counselor, daughter, mother, sister, friend, wife and, at times, a pain in the neck. In spite of all this, God still loves me! Currently, we live in New Jersey where I am a stay-at-home. I work with mom & tot ministries and ocassionally teach stamping and scrapbooking classes. Life is good.

It is this life that will be the basis for most of my posts here. I am always surprised when I find God in the ordinary, everyday pieces of life. I don't know why. I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. These encounters and realignment of perspective are what thrill me most about God. He is always present; eager to show Himself to us in a new way so that we can better understand who He is and all that He has done and is capable of doing. It is truly amazing! To think that He cares enough about a little someone like me -- one with very little value in the heirarchy of society -- to reveal Himself in the dailies of life. I love it! So, that is probably what you'll find here most. Some writings will be new and daily. Others will be articles that were written prior to starting this blog. Regardless, they are all mine and relevant. My hope and prayer is that God will use me and my writing to show Himself to you in the dailies of your life.

Enjoy the journey with me!