Adventures in Public Restrooms

Carol, this one’s for you! (Notice her comment on the latest “Ellie-isms” post.)

All parents understand what a monumental event potty-training can be. It sticks with the kids. Whether they do it right or not, they remember everything you say --especially the things you repeat frequently. If you have not yet embarked upon the journey, take heed now. Think about what you say and remember their mouths: toddlers say whatever is on their minds and have no volume control. I am here to tell you public restrooms and toddlers do not mix. Here’s my story.

It was just after Christmas. The stores were packed with return-makers and sale-grabbers. Using a public restroom is difficult (to say the least) with two toddlers and a double stroller. A busy mall doesn’t make it easier, but nature does call.

I stuffed the kids and the stroller into the handicapped stall. (It is the only one where we all fit and the door still closes.) After Ellie went, it was my turn.

“Mommy, are going to make poopy?”

“Nope."

“Mommy, be careful! Don’t let your bottom touch the seat. It might be icky!”

“Shh, shhh … I know, babe." I started to tinkle and …

“Mommy!! You’re going!!” Ellie’s enthusiasm was evident in her high volume and pitch. Even over that I heard a few stifled giggles from outside.

"Ellie, please be quiet." How many people were listening? I think there eight other stalls ... Zach started screaming from the stroller. A pacifier went flying.

“I’m so proud of you! Are you excited, Mommy?”

“Sure.” Trying to get her to be quiet was a waste of breath.

“Mommy, don’t forget to wipe. First you grab the paper ... It's over there.”

“I know, Isabel. I’ve been doing this for a while.”

“Let me wipe the back.”

“No – I got it! Thanks.” At this point the laughter from other patrons was no longer stifled. It was pretty much all-out guffawing. I even heard one comment “How sweet!” Hmmmm ... yeah. Isabel didn’t stop.

“You’re a very, big girl now, Mama.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Now you flush the potty.”

“Okay.” I surrendered. “What’s next?”

“M&Ms!” I smiled.

As we washed our hands, an elderly lady sitting in the lounge commented on how helpful my daughter was. She told Isabel how important it was for a lady to have proper cleanliness. Isabel, of course, was thrilled with the compliment.

I was so thankful! This stranger eased my embarrassment, but more importantly, she gave me proper perspective. Being a parent is hard. It is exhausting, frustrating, emotionally draining and sometimes just gross and embarrassing. But how many people have delightful stories like this to share? How many people make memories in a public bathroom? I am honored to be one of the blessed who do.

More Ellie-isms

I've got a few more Ellie quotes to share with you ...

*****

Whenever someone sneezes … “Arrest you!”
Translation: “God bless you!”

*****

“Mommy, we have some good, big girl fun, don’t we? Now, can we have some big boy fun?”

*****

“I have a trumpet in my bottom that goes ‘Toot-toot!’”

*****

“Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Marry me! Marry me! Marry me! Marry me! Life is just a dream.”

*****

Daddy: “We had a full day, didn’t we?”
Ellie: “It’s not daytime, Daddy. It’s night.”
Daddy: “No, during the day – we did a lot of things today, didn’t we?”
Ellie: “Daddy, the sun is down. I see the moon. It’s not daytime; it’s nighttime.”
Daddy: “I know it’s not daytime now, but it was. We had a busy day when it was daytime. But now it’s nighttime.”
Ellie: “That’s what I said.”

CCBR nominated for a Litty Award!

Book Chronicle has chosen 35 blogs as nominees for this year's Litty Awards. Christian Children's Book Review (for which I write several reviews a month) is on the list! You can vote by visiting their site. You'll find us listed at #9. As a bonus: you'll be introduced to a number of other book-loving sites.

Speaking of CCBR, you know I for that site, but did you know ... a few of my reviews have also been published in Epic Inspiration. You'll see three, one each for January through March of this year.

An Unconscious Example

Kids are perfect mirrors. They reflect all they see, the good and the bad. If ever I want to know what phrases I use too often or which things I shouldn't have said, I only need to listen to Isabel. Everything sounds different - sometimes better and sometimes worse - when it comes out of a three-year-old's mouth.

I've been watching one area in particular: my temper. Too often I get frustrated too easily. In those times I say things I don't mean in tones I hate. In my exhaustion, I jump to anger. This is not an example I want my kids to follow. Knowing they imitate my every move, I've tried to curb this awful habit.

This week we entered one such danger zone. It was Monday morning. We were running late, and I couldn't find my keys. I was already frustrated, so anger wasn't far behind. My mind raced. All I could think was Rick must have grabbed my keys by mistake. I couldn't find his, so I'd have to call my friend to come pick us up ... but how do I get the carseats out of the van? And how will I get back in the house without keys? Realizing my kids were probably watching (they always are), I stopped. I took a deep breath and prayed aloud: "God, I need Your help! Please help me find my keys."

Right at that moment a thought came to me: my spring jacket. The weather has been so crazy! One day it's thirty-five degrees and the next it's sixty-five. I've got three different coats hanging up and have worn all three in the past week. I checked my spring jacket and found my keys in the right pocket. "Thank you, God." A sigh of relief; we were ready to go.

I turned around to find Isabel, arms uplifted and face enraptured. "God, PLEASE my mommy!! Thank You, thank You, THANK You!!" I had to chuckle ... and thank God again for helping me be a good example.

We never know who is watching or how they'll imitate us.

"In everything set them an example by doing what is good." - Titus 2:7 (NIV)

What am I reading?

A number have inquired about my reading list. If you've been on my other site, you know I've set a goal of reading at least forty books in 2007. Considering the pace at which I read, this may be an unsurmountable goal, but I've set it nonetheless. Oh, and I'm not counting all the children's books I read. That would be a little like cheating, I think ... If you want to know more about the kids' books I love, visit Christian Children's Book Review. I contribute there a couple times a week.

Anyway, I've added my reading list and links to the books in the left sidebar under my profile. If you roll your cursor over the titles you'll get a pop-up window giving you a little more info. Follow the link to read even more. Titles will disappear as I finish those books and new titles will be added as I begin them.

If you've read any on my list or have some suggestions, I'd love to hear it! I love talking about books. I'm usually going through about ten books at a time. Short attention span and an inability to prioritize all the things I want to read, I guess. My list always includes books on writing, parenting and spiritual growth. I can also get into a good novel. There's nothing like good historical fiction! Any good book can quickly have me neglecting the dishes and laundry ... unfortunately, sometimes even the kids.

Facing my fears

Well, I've done it. I am now registered for my very first writers conference. I've been researching and planning and talking about going for months. I've been putting it off under the veil of "praying about it" when in reality I was just scared. Now that I'm committed, I'm terrified.

Once again my hesitation is simply delayed obedience. But God is always faithful, isn't He? He knows I'm intimidated. He knows I'm completely unqualified without Him. Therein lies the catch: I'll never be without Him! He will not tell me to do something then leave me unequipped to complete it. He will be right by me guiding my steps, my words. He already knows the people I'll meet and the ones I won't. He has ordained it all. In that truth my fear must dissipate.

"Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” - Deuteronomy 31:6 (NLT)

So here I am. The clock is ticking down. I've got a lot of prep to do and eight weeks, three days, and twenty-three hours until my flight. No problem.

Princess Ellie

A running discussion among our family has been about my daughter’s name: what will she choose to be called? Her given name is Isabel Kathryn, but we’ve been calling her “Ellie” or “Ellie-Kate” since she was about two weeks old. Many are curious what she will prefer when she’s older.

Where did “Ellie” come from? Well, as most babies do, she grew in funny proportions. Her belly accounted for all her weight gain for the first few months. Here was this tiny thing with a lovely rotund middle and skinny sticks for arms and legs. Her father thought it appropriate to dub her "Is-a-Belly". Being one who was called “needle-butt” from infancy through high school, I refused to nickname our child after a body part. We compromised with “Ellie”. It stuck and thus began the family debate.

A few weeks ago, Isabel made her preferences known. Out of nowhere I heard a strong voice proclaim: “My NAME is ISABEL!” After a little discussion another compromise was made. We are now permitted to call her “Ellie”, but only if it is preceded by the necessary title of “Princess”. Otherwise, we are supposed to call her “Isabel”.

I’m actually glad she put her foot down – not necessarily about the princess part, but the rest has forced me to remember why we chose her name in the first place. ‘Isabel’ means ‘consecrated to God’. It was important to me that our children have significant names; names that mean something and will remind me of something. Now that I must call Ellie “Isabel”, I am daily reminded (several times a day!) that she is not mine. She is set apart to God; created to serve Him – and it is my job to prepare her for that purpose!

And Zachary … oh, Zachary! His name means ‘remember the Lord’. His middle name, Luke, means ‘bringer of light’. As I struggle with this strong-willed son of mine, I have no choice but to remember the Lord! My Lord, the Bringer of light … my prayer is one day Zach will be a mighty man of God, bringing the Light to everyone he meets.

Why am I sharing all this with you? Because God has a reason for names. All through Scripture peoples’ names are symbolic, relevant and sometimes ironic. They mean something. God has given us names, too. Here are just a few of the things he calls us:

Saints (Ephesians 2:19) – God’s consecrated people
Friends (John 15:14-15) – close confidants
Children (Galatians 3:25; 1 John 4:7, 5:1) – belonging to and imitating the Father
Heirs (Romans 8:17) – rightful stewards of the King’s riches
Forgiven (Psalm 85:2; Acts 13:38; Ephesians 1:7) – washed clean, blameless
Holy (Ephesians 1:4; Hebrews 12:14) – set apart for a specific purpose
Branches (John 15:5) – growing forth from the Vine (which is Christ)
Body (1 Corinthians 12) – working together, all part of One

We hear these words tossed around all the time, but have we thought about their meaning? Do we live like saints? Are we set apart and holy like we are called to be? Do others view us as forgiven heirs of the King? Hey, maybe Isabel isn’t so far off with her title of princess.

May we, as believers, remember the names God has given us. May we hold tight to their meaning and live to fulfill the expectations set by them.

A Different View

"Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

- Deuteronomy 11:19

When you read this verse are you encouraged or overwhelmed? Does it excite you as a challenge? Or does it cause you agony -- one more thing added to your already massive to-do list?

Zachary started physical therapy a couple weeks ago. It has been a delightful experience for me. God has blessed us with a wonderful therapist. She is kind and so loving toward my son -- a child who has offended more than a few people with his strong personality. The best part of this experience is learning to see things differently.

When we were ordered to start PT, I was upset. I didn't understand why he needed it. In fact, I vented to a friend (momentarily forgetting she was a PT) about a therapist not being able to do anything anyway. "What are they going to do that I can't do here? Isabel learned to walk just fine without any help!"

But it's not about what I can or cannot do. It's about knowing which things to do when. I don't want to say she "tricks" him into exercising the right muscles ... She just approaches it differently. She knows what actions strengthen which muscles and how to get him to do it without a fight. In my mind, if Zach needs tummy time, we put him on his tummy and make him do it. If he needs to walk, we make him walk. He hates it! Sarah, in contrast, draws him in through a game. She gets him to crawl toward a bright, red truck or stand up to throw balls in a giant tub. Zach doesn't realizes he's learning. He has no clue this is exercise. He's just having fun! It's only been a couple weeks and I am looking at everything my kids do differently. I am noticing which activities encourage the skills they need to learn.

It's the same thing with faith. We can force our kids to sit and study Scripture or we can draw them into it.

If we force them, we should be ready for a battle because no one likes to be forced to do anything. Furthermore, everyone - parents and children - will quickly become exhausted by the effort. So much for that verse in Deuteronomy.

If we want to teach our children while we sit and we walk; when we wake up and go to sleep, we need to look at things differently. Scripture is not just about rules. It is a wonderful handbook for life filled with delightful stories!

So, how do we use every moment to teach our children about God?

Prayer is a good place to start. Pray whenever you feel led. We've made prayer quite a habit in our family. We pray for safety whenever we get in the car; we pray for good parking spots; we thank God for saving us a special car-cart at the grocery store. We pray before meals and before bed. We pray all the time! They don't need to be long, drawn-out theological prayers. A short "Thank you, God!" is all it takes to remind the kids of His presence and provision.

Answer your kids' questions. All kids are filled with questions! Think about ways to incorporate Scripture truths into your answers. Remember my faith discussion with Isabel?

Enjoy nature. I love sharing all the wonders of God's creation with Ellie and Zach. We don't just admire the grass and the bugs living there; we admire the One who created the grass as a home for all those little critters.

Read to your kids. I'm not just talking about the Bible. Yes, read the Bible to your kids, but there are also a ton of great Christian books that teach biblical truths through stories. If you need some ideas check out your favorite publisher websites or our site: Christian Children's Book Review.

Sing choruses, hymns or your own songs! What kid doesn't love to sing?

Offer rewards. Something as simple as a sticker or ice cream treat can get a kid asking for more! You can reward them for knowing the right answers to questions, memorizing verses or living out something they've learned in the past (telling the truth even when it's hard or exemplifying the fruits of the Spirit).

I took for granted that Zachary would learn to walk. "He'll figure it out on his when he's ready." In truth, he needs help, and I need to look at things differently in order to teach him. Likewise, we cannot take for granted that our kids will learn what they need to know about God. They can't learn it on their own. We need to teach them. When we learn to look at things differently -- seeing it as a fun game or challenge instead of a chore -- our teaching can be more effective. Our kids will enjoy learning about God! What a wonderful encouragement that will be.

Time to Interrupt

“Do you know how Rachel Ray makes 30-minute meals? She doesn’t have children!”

Frustrated, I made this statement while ending the second half-hour of an attempt to make one of her dishes. I know Rachel books it on her show, but still … even when I’m kicking tail trying to use my time as efficiently as possible, there is no way I’m getting any of her meals done in less than thirty minutes. Why? Because I have children.

Time passes differently with children in the house. Before having kids, we had the luxury of time – a luxury we squandered not knowing what we had. We took for granted our ability to be spontaneous. We could decide to go anywhere at a moment’s notice and without a second thought.

Isabel put a little damper on that, but not much. Having a child caused us to pause just long enough for a second thought. More times than not, we simply continued with our spontaneous whatevers. As an infant, she didn’t take up much space and traveled light. Yeah, life with one was not too much different than life with none.

But just like our footloose, child-free days, the era of just one was finite, destined to pass in short order. I am still adjusting to the surprise of Zach; the sudden life of two.

Time is definitely different with two. If a recipe claims to take one hour and fifteen minutes (total time including prep and baking), the mother of two should start it no later than 3:30 if she wants to serve it before 7 PM. Everything takes longer. Getting ready in the morning, getting out the door, eating lunch … everything. Interruptions are never-ending. But then I think: What is the interruption here? Are my kids interrupting my chores? Or are my chores interrupting my real life as a mother? What is most important?

Someone said “When your children are young, the days are long, but the years are short.” It is so easy to lose track of time and priorities in the rush of everyday life. We all have thousands of things on our to-do lists and our wish-to-do lists. But what is really important? Is it better to make a meal in thirty minutes or to share the hour-and-a-half prep time with little helpers?

"There is an appointed time for everything." -- Ecclesiastes 3:1

Now is not my time to be a speedy culinary genius. Perhaps in five, ten or twenty years … Right now is the appointed time for me to enjoy my little helpers and revel in these wonder-packed interruptions to a life of chores.

Kitchen Transformation

Since I've been gone for over a week, I figure I owe you some pictures. *grin* I don't have a one showing the previous owners' decor, so just picture the pink countertops next to an '80s grey, textured wallpaper. I am loving the changes!

Here is BEFORE ...

... and AFTER!

The butcherblock looks SO good with the red walls! And I love my new white sink. It's just a touch of country to remind me from where I've come.