Swallowing keys

Since having children I've spent more time than not reflecting on the fatherhood of God. He adopts believers as His children making Him our Father. He deals with us in parallel as we deal with our own children.

Today is one of those days when it's easy to understand why some animals eat their young. Zachary has a will of iron and an independent spirit to match. He will remain steadfast on his erroneous course, seemingly oblivious to cause and effect. He loses toys and tv-priviledges; gets time-outs and (when none of that gets his attention) spankings. It exhausts me to continually enforce consequences. It would be so much easier (for both of us!) if he would just stop, listen and obey.

I'm so frustrated! But when I step back and remember the parallel; remember that I, too, am a child, then my heart breaks. I feel a double dose of compassion: one for our Father who must deal with me and one for my son, with whom I more readily relate.

Caedmon's Call lyrics echo again. These verses from their song "Coming Home" perfectly describe the battle.

"You say you want a living sacrifice. Well, I am a burnt offering crawling off the altar and back into the fire. And with my smoke-filled lungs I cry out for freedom while locking and chaining myself to my rotting desires. And I hate the stench, but I swallow the key."

Do you ever do that? I watch Zachary as one by one his favorite toys are taken away. I see the pain in his face, the obvious conflict. He wants to take the easy route, but for some reason he chooses to continue in his sin. Rather than submit to our authority, he insists he is in charge. Much like someone else I know.

And so we both pay consequences. I miss out on the blessings God has for me. I stew in my unmet expectations, forgetting that I never checked those expectations against God's plans. I continue full-steam ahead, never hesitating, with a deluded vision of myself in provident reign.

The song continues: "Can you hear me? I'm coming home!" The good news is this: it doesn't matter how far down the wrong path we've gone, it only takes one step to return.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 (NIV)

Yes, He can hear us! Even with the key stuck in our throats. We may not get all our toys back, but at least we'll be on the right path again. We can start over, choosing the right this time.

Photo courtesy of imageafter.com. Song lyrics copyright 1997, Caedmon's Call.