Paparazzi ('Fro Me to You)

This is my family. Well, a small part of it: Nathan (my sister's husband), me, my brother Tim and my mom. This was taken around Christmas 2001. At the time there was only one grandchild, only one nephew: Jacob. We all thought he was best thing in the world. Well, he was! And still is one of the best, only now he's not the only one. Anywho, we were worse than paparazzi in the backyard that day. Rick and Tracy (my sister) were pulling Jacob around in a wagon tacked onto the back of a riding lawnmower. Three cameras and two camcorders. It was a fun day. I don't have any good pictures of Jacob, but I've got this one. And I love it.

You ever think God gets this excited about His children? Do you think He watches with elated anticipation to capture the next delightful thing we may do?

Last night Rick and I watched Evan Almighty. (I was quite reluctant about it, because I HATED Bruce Almighty. I found it offensive and sacrilegious. But this one was very different. I won't go into the details of the movie. I'll just say if you haven't seen it, you might want to check it out.) My favorite part of the movie was the very last scene. Evan, who has struggled throughout the entire movie's journey to trust and obey God, stands in a large meadow under a single tree with God. There he acknowledges God's infinite wisdom and His loving plan, the fact that He saw the future before it happened and gently orchestrated the events to happen in the best possible way. And then they "do the dance." It's not a get down and boogie type of dance; it's a silly little victory dance most people do only when they think no one is looking. My college suitemate and I had one of these dances; just a little happy dance we did together whenever God answered prayers or tickled us in an undeniable way. We danced it a lot!

In the movie Morgan Freeman, who plays God, laughs during the dance. It's a wonderful sound. My spine tingles at the thought of God laughing and dancing with me! Realizing that He loves me so much to delight in me when I delight in Him. It's pretty awesome.

This post is sponsored by Sincerely 'Fro Me to You over at We are THAT Family. Check out the carnival over there to see who else is sharing blasts from the past through pictures.

Offering Shade

One of my first posts on this blog was about our backyard. In it I lamented our lack of privacy and told of a slight haven I created by stealing the neighbor's shade. I am proud to announce we now have our own shade! Isn't it beautiful??

Too lovely little patches of shade. We planted the trees on Memorial Day. Well, Rick did most the work, but the kids and I had fun watching. Okay, I know they're tiny trees and the shade they offer is slightly pathetic, but it makes all the difference. Maybe not to you, but to us the effect is amazing. To us, the backyard feels cozy and welcoming. It feels more like home. (Right now my friend Karen is laughing her tail off on her mini-farm of seven acres.)

Sometimes little things make a huge difference.

Last week Zach had a rough day which caused a rough day for all of us. For no apparent reason (I'm sure there was a reason, but I was never able to decifer it), the boy screamed for five hours. I'm not talking whiney crying or fussy grumpiness. I'm talking full blown at the top of his lungs screaming. For. Five. Hours. Straight.

Being outnumbered is tough. There's only one of me, but there's two of them, each with different needs needing to be met at the same time. Having two children so close together and yet so completely opposite is a challenge, to say the least. When one child has a rough day, it's far too easy to take it out on the kid who is not having a rough day. Unfortunately, the kid being calm and collected often suffers the brunt of frustration caused by the one being wild and unruly. I know this and I try to prevent it, sometimes more successfully than others.

Last week when Zach was pulling on my last thread of sanity, I stopped. I took a deep breath, then I left him in a safe, but closed space and took Isabel outside. We sat on the edge of the driveway while I told her how much I loved her and how patient she was being that day. I thanked her for her good behavior. Her smile could have lit up the whole east coast! When I expressed how difficult it must be to have to share your mommy and put up with a noisy brother, she wrapped her arms around mine and nodded her head. The rest of the day, she was so very helpful. What a difference a little encouragement can make! Just that bit of gratitude and acknowledgement of her perspective gave her shade. It refreshed her (and me!) enough to make it through the rest of the day.

We are a people filled with pride. It's easy to point to others and acknowledge their shortcomings, because after all we know how it should be, how it would be done if we were doing it ourselves. But how often do we point out the good things? How often do we appreciate the way other people handle themselves? Sadly, not enough. Just a little bit of thanks, a little bit of encouragement can make someone feel welcome. It may offer them the shady refreshment needed to make it through the rest of the day. It can make them feel like home, safe and secure. Rested.

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." - Psalm 16:24 (NIV)

Take the opportunity today to plant a tree in someone's backyard. It may take just be a word or two. Maybe a smile or a hug. Offer someone the sweet haven of encouragement.

My BIG mistake!!

Hey, folks. I totally messed up this time. I misread the giveaway for Mike Dellosso's new book. I posted yesterday that ... "You can get a FREE autographed copy if you're one of the first twenty people to sign up for his newsletter during his blog tour." Well, it's not a free book; it's a free book flat. No, that's not a flat of books (as I thought); it's a flat book cover. But it's still autographed and it's still free. :) I'm SO SORRY for the misunderstanding!

To make up for it, the first person to comment on THIS post will get a free copy of the book. My treat. Leave a comment with your email address. You know, thewinner (at) jackpot (dot) com. Something like that.

Remember, you can purchase The Hunted online. You can also read the first chapter and visit the author's website. See my previous post for more details on the book, the author and the blog tour going on this week.

Another new author!

Hey, folks! I want to introduce you to another new author, Mike Dellosso. I can truly relate to his writer beginnings. As he puts it, Mike's "birth as a writer was as sudden and soul-wrenching as ... [his] birth as a Christian." He wrestled with God. Life wasn't turning out the way he expected, so to process this and to seek answers, he started writing. Before then he had never considered writing. He didn't even like it. But God blessed his talents and through much effort and perseverance, Mike's work has been well received.

Several of his short stories and articles have been featured in a number of publications, and his first book, The Hunted, is being released on June 3rd. (It's already available on Amazon. See the link below to purchase it now.) You can get a FREE autographed book flat if you're one of the first twenty people to sign up for his newsletter during his blog tour (today through June 2nd). Here's a link to do that. Be sure to put "blog tour" in the comments field.

This guy has been compared to Frank Peretti and Stephen King, both phenomenal authors. If you like either of them, you'll like this. Here's a synopsis.

A town’s deadly secret will drive one man to the edge of his faith. After learning of the disappearance of his nephew, Joe Saunders returns to his childhood home of Dark Hills. With rumors spreading of a rogue lion roaming the woods, he embarks on a mission to learn the truth. As he peels away the layers of Dark Hills, he discovers a secret that has been shrouded for three generations in a deadly code of silence. Will his young faith be strong enough to battle the demonic forces behind it?

Read the first chapter HERE.
Buy the book HERE.

Now, I haven't read the book, just parts of it. I admit it! It's a too scary for me. *grin* But for those of you who enjoy the thriller genre, I guarantee you won't be disappointed with this. Mike is an excellent author. To learn more about him, visit his website: http://www.mikedellosso.com/.

For a list of all the blogs participating in this tour, click HERE. Some sites feature interviews with the author and personal reviews of the book (from those less frightened than yours truly!)

And the winner is ...

... Jen! Congratulations!! Email me with your mailing address and I'll get your book right out to you. (Unless, of course, you are who I think you are. Then you just need to let me know when is a good night for a BBQ. I'll hand-deliver it!)

I finished the book over the weekend and loved it! It was funny and sweet, and unexpected delight. You can purchase it by following THIS LINK to Amazon.

We'll look forward to the next offering from Sherri Sand!

Meet Sherri Sand and Get a Free Book!

I love meeting new authors, so when my friend Tina asked me to join another book blog tour, I was all over it.

Meet Sherri Sand.

Aside from her degree in psychology and her love of running, she's much like me and many of you. She's a wife and mother struggling to juggle everything those two roles require. And, of course, she's a writer who loves to read. (Did you catch that? A mom of four succeeds in completing her book and getting published! Woo-hoo!) Oh, and she loves chocolate. Is it possible for moms to maintain sanity without it?

Now meet her debut novel.

I've got to be honest. When I first heard the premise of this book, I was more than skeptical. A boy, a girl and a horse. Sounds like a cheesy, teeny-bopper romance - right? I mean, didn't we all dream about having horses and rugged men to come along and reign in our wild, independent streaks with their charm and devastatingly good looks? But then we grew up.

Leave it to Chance FAR exceeded my expectations. I've not been able to put it down! Yes, it has a boy, a girl and a horse, but the story is much more complex than that. And Sherri's writng is fantastic. Her characters are intricately developed. Their struggles are relevant, and their faith is tried. I anticipated a predictable storyline, but instead was pleasantly surprised with each twist of plot and character's choice.

Let me give you a synopsis. Single mom, Sierra, inherits a horse. Her three kids are thrilled, but there's more than one problem. Her ex-husband is behind on child support, she just lost her job, she's about to be evicted, and her overbearing mother wants Sierra and the kids to move in with her. Does she sell the horse to pay the rent and crush her children's hopes in the process? Or keep it and face a bigger problem: her paralyzing fear of horses? Meanwhile a hunky landscaper becomes a role model for her oldest son and a definite distraction for Sierra. At the crux of the book is the issue of trust. God wasn't there for Sierra when she needed Him most, so how can she trust Him now? If she doesn't loosen her need for control, will her children ever forgive her?

The book is filled with endearing characters. My favorites: Elise, Sierra's best friend; a fun, quirky chick and one of very few people Sierra has seen exhibit a sincere, uninhibited relationship with God, and Sid, the hunky landscaper's neighbor and father-figure; an ornery grandfatherly type who challenges everyone around him to be their best and believe the Truth. It's a great read! Did I mention you can get it free? *grin*

Leave a comment on this post and I'll enter you in a random drawing for a FREE copy of this delightful, encouraging book. I'll pick a winner on Saturday.

In the meantime, I encourage you to check out the author's website: http://www.sherrisand.com/ and the other blogs participating in the tour.

Amber Miller
Blog Tour Spot
Camy’s Loft
Chatter Matters
A Christian Romance Writer’s Journey
Cliffy’s Mom’s Blog
Fictionary
Flying Changes
The Friendly Book Nook
Horse Book Reviews
I Don’t Wanna Blog
Leap of Faith
lighthouse-academy
A Little Bit of Sunshine
Margaret Daley
Ma Space
Musings on This, That & The Other Thing
Mystery, Suspense and God, Oh My!
Net’s Notes
Novel Journey
Penning Prose
Portrait of a Writer . . . Interrupted
Readin N Writing with Patricia
Real Women Scrap
Relevant Blog
Sharon Hinck
Sips ‘n Cups Cafeteria
Smells Horsey
So You Wanna Be Published
Toni V Lee
Writing by Faith
The Writing Road.com

Please pray.

If you haven't heard, Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest daughter was killed in a horrible accident yesterday. Most people are aware of Steven's success in Christian music. He's a definite icon in the industry, whether you like his music or not. But his family has embraced a ministry beyond music. They've embarked on mission trips to China and have become advocates of international adoption. Shoahannah's Hope is an organization they founded to "mobilize the body of Christ to care for orphans." They've even written children's books about it. Maria, the daughter who died last night, was one of three girls the family adopted from China. Please pray for this family, especially their son Will.

My family endured an almost identical accident years ago. A two-year-old cousin ran into the driveway where she was crushed under the tires of my brother's SUV. His wife, who was driving the vehicle, never recovered. Rather than turning to God and accepting His grace, she turned inward, blaming herself for Gabriella's death. What's worse, she resented all those around her who tried to help, those who didn't hate her for what happened. We knew it was an accident, but she was never able to believe it. The "if only"s and "what if"s took over. It destroyed her and their marriage.

This is going to be an extremely difficult time for the Chapman family. They seem to be tight-knit and solidly grounded in God's truth. I hope so. They'll need to be to come out of this victoriously. May God be glorified through this situation! It sounds awful to pray that, but I know He can make even the darkest times radiant through His wisdom and love. I pray He'll do just that for this family now.

'Fro Me to You

Kristin over at We are THAT Family hosts a weekly "'Fro me to you" carnival. It's a fun way to show off old and maybe should be forgotten photos, like the 'fros we all sported in the 80s. You know, the stuff that will never see the inside of a scrapbook because it's either blackmail worthy or because we're simply too busy doing other things, like writing that bestseller or keeping our children from playing in the toilet.

Unfortunately, I only have a handful of childhood photos. I'm a middle child and my parents are split which means all my baby stuff is too. Well, this weekend while visiting my brother in Pennsylvania, I got a new one. Ted (my brother) pulled out a few boxes of photos he got from our dad a while back. I just had to snag this adorable one.

This is Ted and I. I don't remember this day or even where we were, but I love it. We're 18 months apart, almost the same as Zach and Ellie, the older sister born in the winter followed by the little brother born in the summer. And in this picture we appear to be about the same ages as Ellie and Zach now. Everyone thought we were twins. I'm sure E & Z will get the same reaction. We've already been asked a few times. With him being so tall and his speech so advanced, the assumption is inevitable.

Yesterday I came out of the bathroom to find Ellie -- yes! I actually got to go to the bathroom by myself!! Isn't that exciting? Anywho, the first thing I saw after emerging from the loo was Ellie standing on a big cardboard box singing from the top of her lungs: "Me and Zach-a-wee are best friend FOE-EV-ER!!" She sang it over and over. Then Zach had a turn. "Me and I'abel are best friends forever!!!" It was so sweet.

My brother and I have had our ups and downs over the last thirty years, but we're still friends. Hopefully forever.

Glimpses

I want to share a great online subscription with you.

Glimpses is a monthly ezine put out by Heather A. Goodman. It's purpose is to highlight those who are "incarnating Christ in their stories, in their art, and as the Church." Furthermore, it provides encouragement for you to live out Christ in your life as well. Glimpses features interviews, stories and devotionals, all centered on Christ and the arts. It's really fabulous.

You can subscribe to Glimpses below or visit Heather's site to see sample issues. Just be sure to list me as your "referring friend." And, if you sign up now, you have a chance to win a $50 Barnes & Noble gift certificate. See her blog for more details.

Being Disciplined: Part 2

Two Saturdays past I attended an event for local Stampin' Up! demonstrators. I've been selling their products and teaching stamping and scrapbooking classes for seven years. It started out as a hobby and then became a business and now it's back to being little more than a hobby. But recently a friend decided to start her own SU! business by becoming a demonstrator too. I attended this "Spring Fling" to support her and help her get off to a good start.

The day was a blast. We made some great projects and, of course, heard some very inspiring words by career demonstrators. They talked about the most productive ways to maintain a consistently successful business. Because I no longer plan to take over the world as Creative Stampin' Queen, much of it went in one ear and out the other with a generous "if only" roll of the eyes. But some of it I found very applicable to writing. Or actually any career that has you working at home.

Leave home to work. This doesn't mean get a different job or rent an office. Simply find a way to differentiate between home time and work time.

The problem with working at home is that we're surrounded by all of our at-home chores. It's difficult to turn off the "gotta do" pager when you pass a stack of dirty dishes while grabbing a glass of water or an overflowing hamper on your way to the bathroom. If I went away to work, I wouldn't be able to do the dishes or throw in some laundry, but because I'm home all day, I feel like I have to. The result? All my work (read: writing, editing, market research, etc.) gets put off. The speaker on Saturday encouraged us to make sure we're treating our work like a real job (duh!) by leaving home to do it (ah-ha!) Maybe that means literally leaving the house; going for coffee before returning home to start work. Or maybe you can just flip a mental switch. Maybe a timer would be helpful. Whatever it takes. But make sure you're not using your work time for household chores.

Stop multi-tasking. I've decided multi-tasking is a fancy way to procrastinate without feeling guilty about it. One of the speakers asserted that doing one thing at a time ensures you'll finish it quicker with better results than if you divide your efforts among several tasks. She's right. This is why lists work for me. I see what needs to be done and cross them off one at a time. Without my list, I meander from room to room doing a little of this and a little of that consistently forgetting why I entered the room in the first place. I used to be labeled ADD; now it's called Momnesia.

Great tips - right? Only I can't do it.

My work IS my home. I'm a stay-at-home mom! My kids and the home where they live, they are my work, and I can't leave them. I've tried. They follow. (The kids, not the house.) So, I set up designated work times when they'll leave me alone, but that doesn't work either. Take today for example. Rest time is not optional. It happens every day at one o'clock. For at least one hour, I have quiet to work. In theory, anyway. But today Zach didn't want to play in his room and he didn't want to take a nap. Instead he chose to stand just inside his door and scream for an entire hour. Did I mention my workspace is about ten feet from his door? After several visits to calm hm down and remind him who is in charge, he finally quit screaming (I think he passed out from the exertion.) at 2:08. That's when Ellie came down the stairs thrilled that rest time was over. I popped in a video for her, hoping it would keep her occupied for a while. Instead of being content with Cinderella, she begged me to sit with her (cue the mom guilt) and has been talking to me nonstop since.

As for multi-tasking, well, that's my life too. I need to be able to fill juice cups, make dinner, clean the kitchen and listen to one kid singing while praising another's latest drawing for Grandma. Sure, a list keeps me directed, but actually being able to focus on one thing at a time? Well, that would only be possible if I woke up hours before the rest of my family. I've tried working after the kids go to bed, but by then I'm exhausted and my brain barely functions.

And so, as my friend Dale would say, it's another day of Tanya's whining and complaining. *grin* I'm not complaining! Or at least I dont mean to be. Just sharing thoughts. Maybe I'm too ambitious, my goals too lofty. Perhaps my expectations for this time in my life are completely unrealistic. Or maybe I've just done enough already today. But I did want to share these tips with you! If they don't work for me now, maybe they'll work for you. And I can get them back later.

Giveaway this week!

Heads up! One day this week I'll doing a giveaway. Stay tuned to learn more. I'm also hosting a new author this week. We'll be talking about her debut novel, Leave it to Chance. So, stick around! There's more to come. :)

Girl meets Shoe

... and falls in love.

I'm a barefoot girl. Blame my farmer roots and my flowerchild personality. The first thing I do when I get home is take off my shoes. They aren't put on again until absolutely necessary. Even then, my shoe of preference is a sandal. I wear sandals nine months out of the year. Not a big deal if we lived in Texas or SoCal. But since we can have snow from November to March, my free digits are shocking to some of our neighbors. One of Ellie's teachers, born and raised in Trinidad, was sure I'd die of pneumonia before the school year was out. And the issue extends beyond shoes. I can't sleep with tucked-in sheets. I know I don't garner oxygen through my feet, but still, it's an uncomfortable state I liken to suffocation.

A couple weeks ago Rick took the kids so I could go shopping. I needed some summer stuff and the requisite sandals. They didn't have any fun hippy styles, so I meandered through the more athletic rows of shoes hoping to find something slightly funky. Instead I found the shoes of my dreams.

I slipped into these thongs and instantly felt my whole body relax. The gel-like soles massaged my sweet feet and lifted a smile to my face. A smile that hasn't faded in two weeks. I had to buy them. I may go back for more.

So, here I am, a barefoot girl in love with some shoes. I even wear them in the house when there is no need. They're more comfortable than wearing nothing at all.

Just had to share. My husband is tired of hearing me talk about them.

Wanting the world

Last night mom guilt kicked in again. Every task I needed to complete seemed to take twice as long as expected, so by the end of the day, Ellie was feeling a bit neglected. We didn't play outside as long as she had wanted and we never got to that long-awaited tea party with Cinderella and Strawberry Shortcake. Before tucking her in bed I told her: "Tomorrow you don't have school, so we can do whatever you want to do." She was thrilled, and I silently patted myself on the back for being such a flexible mom. Problem solved; mom guilt abated. Then today dawned, and I realized my four-year-old expert on semantics was going to take me to the cleaners.

We started by watching a show I can't stand. There's nothing necessarily wrong with the show, but it doesn't teach anything and one of the main characters has a speech impediment. Why do they do that? Their target audience is toddlers and preschoolers who are still learning to speak properly and so they create a character who will reinforce incorrect pronunciations. It irks me. Anywho, I digress. We watch this show for a bit then headed to the mall, her favorite place in the world next to Grandma's. We visited all her favorite stores; threw money in the fountain and at a couple new outfits and a pair of sandals. We rode the carousel, got smoothies and Auntie Anne's pretzels, then visited the pet store. After that, she was done with the mall and ready for IKEA.

A normal mother would have put a stop to it at this point, but I did need to pick up a couple things at IKEA, so I trotted along behind my headstrong daughter. After about an hour of having formal dinner parties in each of the display kitchens and tea parties in all the living rooms, Zach had had enough. I had had enough.

Enduring many tears and pleas for more, I prodded two over-tired kids through checkout and to the van. They were much happier once outside. While strapping in Zach and handing snacks to each of my little cherubs, I smiled at Isabel. "Have you had a good day?"

"Well, Mom, it wasn't the best day." Isabel sighed heavily.
"What do you mean?" I went on to list the many fun things we did at her request.
"But we didn't go to the park!"

Sound familiar? How often do we whine to God about never having enough. Life isn't perfect enough. We do all the right things and still Sally Sinner has more than we do. Wah, wah, wah. We are given grace upon grace, blessing upon blessing, but we just can't get past wanting a little bit more.

I don't have to work. I have an extremely attractive, loving, wonderful, patient, helpful husband who is a brilliant man and an amazing father. I have two gorgeous, healthy, intelligent, creative children. I have a church family I love, tons of friends, a great neighborhood ... I get along beautifully with my mother-in-law! What more could I possibly want? Oh, just a bigger house and more free time and a vacation home in the Carribbean; a trip to Europe and a green thumb and ... the list goes on.

God has given me everything, and I refuse to be a spoiled child because of it.

Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name;
make known among the nations what he has done.
Sing to him, sing praise to him;
tell of all his wonderful acts.
Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.

Psalm 105:1-3 (NIV)

Happy Mother's Day!

My kids LOVE Go Fish! Ellie and I met them last fall when they performed at our church. Zach can't wait to attend his first "rock concert" when the Go Fish Guys return to the area. If you've never heard them (or of them), here's an introduction in honor of today.

Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks for April

Hey, I just realized I'm late in getting out the April edition of "Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks." ENJOY!

Me: "Are you going toot-toot with your bottom?"
Zach: "No, it's just gas."

Ellie: "I had a bad dream."
Me: "Really? What was it about?"
Ellie: "I don't know because it didn't come true."

Zach, giggling while peeing on the floor: "Mom-my! My juice is coming out!"

Me: "Your friends cannot come over to play until your room is clean. Do you understand?"
Ellie: "I understand, Mom. I'll just go to their house."

Me: "Ellie, you need to go upstairs and get your clothes."
Ellie: (laying her head sweetly in my lap) "Mommy, I have an idea! How 'bout I get my shoes and you get my clothes?"
Me: "Where are you shoes?"
Ellie: "Upstairs. We can go together!"
Me: "Okay." (I run upstairs only to hear Isabel yelling from the bottom of the stairs ...)
Ellie: "Mommy, you can get my shoes, too, if you want to."

Me: "Zach, you wanna watch Strawberry Shortcake?"
Zach: "No! It's too girly!"
Me: "How 'bout A Bug's Life?"
Zach: "No, it's too scary."
Me: "Finding Nemo?"
Zach: "No, Mom. It's too WET!"

Zach: "These shoes are too squeezy."

Ellie: "I want a baby sister so I have someone to push around." (I think she means in a stroller, but we're not entirely sure!)

Zach: "Hey! I'm not crying any more! I think I'm happy now!"

Wordless Wed ... er, Thursday.

"Oh, visit the earth, ask her to join the dance!
Deck her out in spring showers,
fill the God-River with living water."

- Psalm 65:9 (The Message)

I'm not very good at being "wordless," but these pictures don't need much explanation. Sponsored by Wordless Wednesday. Even though it's Thursday.

Becoming Disciplined

A while back I wrote a post of random thoughts. It started off talking about me being behind in projects and my love of online word games. My point was it's okay to "waste time" sometimes because maybe you really need a rest. Unfortunately, that wasn't the message that came across, as evidenced by the slew of emails offering tips on organization and self-discipline.

I've never thought of myself as undisciplined. I always follow the rules and get totally peeved at those who don't. I can't even play Memory with my 4-year-old because she wants to peek at more than two cards per turn. Or she steals my matches making it look like she won. Okay, maybe that's bordering on a different neurosis. Digression. My point is I've never considered myself lacking rigidity. I prefer to say I'm flexible. I'm a free spirit.

But the more I thought about the perceptions others had of me, well, maybe their right. A little.

I do what I want to do when I want to do it. I will clean the toilet to procrastinate doing dishes. Not so much because I love scrubbing the can, but merely because I dispise from the very foundation of my being washing dishes. There's no reason why. I just do. And so I don't. That's Rick's job and has been since we got married. Stuff gets done, just not always as quickly as it could; or it's all prioritized funky. I'll pick out paint chips for the room we want to paint next month, but forget to call the doctor about the problem I have today.

Enter lists. Yup, folks, I'm attempting yet another goal, another change in my habits.

You see, I wasn't always this way. Back when I was a working woman I lived by lists. I had lists for everything and I followed them religiously. If it wasn't on a list, it was covered by multiple calendars and maybe a spreadsheet. When I carried these habits into motherhood for a while. I had charts of the infant Ellie's play-time, tummy-time, eating habits, sleeping habits, even excrement patterns. I kept lists of questions for the pediatrician, books to read next, and milestones to watch for.

Eight months later we discovered (much to our surprise) Zach would be joining our family. Between being sick, setting up a second nursery and being forced on bedrest (again), I discovered life is completely out of my hands and beyond the scope of my spreadsheets. With two kids under 18 months of age, I couldn't keep up with my rigid schedules. Perhaps I've boomeranged too far.

I'm trying again. Aren't you excited?

Yesterday was my first day of lists. There were six items to complete before the day was out. By the middle of the afternoon, I'd only crossed off two of them. The only logical thing to do at that point was to add to the list things I had done, just do I could cross them off. I added impressive tasks like "take a shower" and "feed the children." This made me feel a little better, more productive.

Today is Day 2. I have four things remaining from yesterday and six new items (4 of which should have been on yesterday's list, but I forgot until this morning). Wish me luck!

Desiring God

When kids get sick, they get clingy. Cuddling is great, but I need it in moderation. I like my personal space.

As a mom, I don't get much. I've come to terms with the fact I'll never use the toilet alone and will seldom take a shower without playing Peek-a-boo at the same time. There will always be someone touching me while I eat (usually with her feet) and another someone trying to steal my bed at night. Even household chores are group projects. I understand this is just the way things are and I'm okay with that. But after days and nights of touching and hugging and clinging and crying and synchronized poop sessions, I need solitude.

Zach understands. He's an introvert. He likes people, but being with them exhausts him. He needs alone time to re-energize.

I gain energy by being with other adults, but I quickly become drained if my only interaction is with people under three feet tall. After a long day like that, I need quiet to refuel.

And then there's Ellie. The definitive extrovert, she like a leech feeding off the energy of other people. Take away her social life and she quickly shrivels into a weary fount of tears. She can't stand being alone. It's the worse possible punishment for her. It exhausts her and she hates it.

This is why she can't understand my need. She can't get enough of me. We've had almost two weeks with just me and the kids. You'd think she'd be sick of me, but she's not. "Mommy, I want you. I miss you. Sit with me. Play with me." As I stifled another groan from the depths of my I-DON'T-WANT-TO spot, today I recognized the virtue of her affections.

One day in the not too distant future, this daughter of mine will want nothing to do with me. She'll be too cool to hang with her old lady, and I'll be wishing for more quality time with her. But for now she's a child and she adores me. She wants to be with me every second of every day. Why aren't we more like that with God?

We're told only those who become like a child will enter the kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 18:3). Children love being with their parents. Moms and dads are the most popular people in the world to a preschooler. So, why aren't we seeking our Father with as much persistence, passion and enthusiasm?

When I'm on the phone, Isabel is one step behind me the entire time. Sometimes I'm just walking to walk and sometimes it's an attempt to get away from the kids and actually hear the person on the phone. It doesn't matter to Ellie. She will chase me, anything she needs to do to make sure she's with me, walking in my footsteps. Are you chasing God? Are you desiring nothing more than to be in His shadow, walking in His steps? I hope so.

It's a challenge for me, a source of sanctification and of praise. Isn't it great God never turns us away because He needs quiet? How awesome that He never tires of spending time with us!

I'm not against a lot of things, but ...

I'm not against plastic surgery.

Last summer Ellie split her chin open. I don't know how many stitches she got (They kicked me out of the room before I could pass out.), but it was enough to leave a scar. We knew it at the time. The ER gave us the choice of seeing a plastic surgeon on the spot. We opted out, but we did agree, if the scar becomes problematic later in life, we'll get it taken care of. We've also agreed to get her a nose job if her little button turns into the famous Burkitt beak.

Have you seen this? It's a children's book set for release this weekend in honor of Mother's Day.

Written by a plastic surgeon, this book's purpose is to help children understand a "mommy makeover," the popular tummy-tuck and boob-job combo. Newsweek's article explains its inception, author and potential market. (Don't you love how the doctor depicts himself? He looks like Superman!)

I don't have a problem with the book. Not necessarily. I understand this is a great way to explain to kids why mommy has bandages and needs time to recover. I don't have a problem with the need for the book either. I understand why women want the surgery! My body was hijacked twice. After housing and sustaining other beings for two and a half years straight, it's just not the same. I'm covered in stretchmarks, and my bosom has definitely seen higher points. I'm not complaining; it could be worse. (Yes, I saw the original episodes of John & Kate + 8!)

So, what's my problem?

Last week our 7-year-old neighbor was over playing with Ellie. (This was part of the spring break fun.) The girls wanted a snack and, after a plethora of choices were offered, they decided on chips. Before I could dump a portion into each girl's bowl, Johana stopped me. "Wait! What about the fat?" This first-grader snatched the bag and very carefully checked the fat content per serving -- both saturated and unsaturated fats. Only then was it deemed "okay, as long as we don't eat any cookies."

I fear our focus, as a society, is highly skewed. Taking care of yourself is a good thing. We want to look good, but when all we do is altered by how we want to look, something is wrong.

I'm not against healthy living. (Obviously. Haven't I written about Burger King more than once?) I'm actually thinking about getting a Pilate's machine. (I say that as if I need to prove my health-consciousness.) And I'm not against teaching our kids good habits at a young age. There's a reason I'm a SAHM - right? But do I really want my 4-year-old dissecting the ingredients of her snack for the sake of her waistline? Do I want her thinking she needs surgery to be beautiful?

The mom in this children's book doesn't just deal with what went wrong (the extra stretched-out skin); she also gets a nose job and breast implants. She explains to her inquisitive daughter: "[I'll be] more than different ... I'll be prettier!"

I'm against teaching our kids - especially our daughters - that their value is found in their appearance.

"Can Ellie change her clothes? She needs to be pretty to play with us." My daughter is only four and she's already hearing statements like this. She thinks she needs to wear make-up and high heels or she won't have friends. And her worst fear: she'll never find a man to marry her. She knows I don't shower every day and I rarely wear makeup; I'm quite possibly the lowest-maintenance woman she knows, but still -- these lessons of face value are what our society is teaching her.

"Your adornment must not be merely external ... but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." - 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NAS)

I go out of my way to praise Ellie's freckles and kiss her little chin scar. I love her big belly and her crazy, Afro hair. And I tell her so all the time. I remind her she is most beautiful when she's kind and compassionate. What about you? How do you teach your kids to value inner beauty? What ways do you exemplify a love of imperfections?

I'm weak! Ain't it great?

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

My last ten days have included:

• Isabel's spring break: a nonstop carnival of neighborhood kids here, there and everywhere. (A frightening preview of summer vacation yet to come!)
• Two family birthdays and three celebrations.
• Zach contracted yet another ear infection: This is his 7th since birth, but his first "single" ever; all his other ear infections have been double.
• Rick got the flu.
• Our first full-blown allergy season with kids: We've all been struggling to breathe and poor Ellie's eyes have been swollen shut three days running.
• And yesterday Isabel woke with the fever, sweats and chills her father had over the weekend.

I've decided God has a special health care plan for mothers. He keeps us healthy long enough to nurture and tend to all those under our care. I'm never sick while my kids are sick. The germs don't attack me until after everyone else is well. Then, after a week or two of sleep deprivation, this body of mine is more than happy to stay in bed for a couple days. And everyone around me is grateful and happy to wait on me. It's nice.

It's never easy being sick. It's even worse when you have things to do, be it going to work or caring for kids. But God's grace is always sufficient. It's enough. He offers the strength we lack to help us accomplish the plans He has for us. These may not always match our plans. I had a lot more on my to-do list than cuddling criers and wiping noses. But it's always enough to fulfill HIS plans. And HIS plans detail exactly what we need to be doing.

Furthermore, we can rejoice in these moments. I'm weak! I'm sleep-deprived and frustrated and really wishing my kids would feel better. I'm tired of wrestling them to the ground every four to six hours to give them the medication they need. And I'm really sick of watching the same videos over and over again while they whine and cry spread their germs all over my bed. But these are the moments that remind me of my need for God. I am reminded how much patience and grace I lack. I am reminded of how much patience and grace He has and continually bestows on me. I'm weak and filled with faults, but it's a wonderful thing. In my weakness He is exalted because without His strength and His grace, I would not last the day. If my kids did last the day, they would certainly need therapy to deal with the damage I had caused. So, praise God! Praise God I'm not alone and my kids don't need therapy (yet) and we will all survive the day ... thanks to HIS grace and HIS strength.