June Ellie-isms and Zach Attacks

It's time for our monthly dose of kid quotes. This month was a little heavy with Zach Attacks and light on the Ellie-isms. ENJOY!

I'll start us off with a conversation repeated almost daily during the half hour of quiet before bedtime. We go to our room (affectionately known as "The Cave") and the kids either watch a short video in the living room or play quietly in their separate rooms. Zach knocks on our bedroom door to which Rick and I respond: "Who's there?"
Zach: "Zachary."
Us: "Zachary who?"
Zach pops his head inside the door to say: "Zachary Little Boy."
Me: "Baby, you're name is Zachary Dennis, not Zachary Little Boy. When we ask who's there, you say 'Zachary Dennis.'"
Zach: "Oh. Okay, Mom."
He goes back outside and starts over. Knock, knock.
Us: "Who's there?"
Zach: "Zachary Little Boy Dennis."

Zach: "I went poopy!"
Rick: "I don't see anything."
Zach: "Pretend you do. I so happy!"

Ellie: "Mommy, you're amazing!"

Zach: "I made pee-pee!"
Me: "When?"
Zach: "I win!"

Ellie, announced loudly while placing Cinderella pearls around my neck: "Attention, everyone!! This award is for Mommy because she is a nice mommy and she made me dinner and it has a singing shoe!"

After surviving a day of potty-training and preparing a massive outdoor meal for my family, I sat down ready to eat.
Zach: "I want a hot dog?"
Me, incredulous: "You serious?"
Zach: "No. My cereal is in the kitchen. I want a hot dog right here." (pointing to his plate)

Ellie: "MOM!!! I saw an anthill and Zach stepped on that anthill. Then I saw the ants all sad! And now those ants have nowhere to live!"

Zach: "ROAR!!!"
Me: "Look out! There's a lion!"
Zach: "Mom. I'm not a lion; I'm a puma."

Ellie: "That's not a bear. That's a poking-pine." (Translation: porcupine)

Empty Me

Life should be a musical. Wouldn't it be great to dance and sing all our conversations? Sometimes I do, much to the embarrassment of my husband. The kids like it though.

Life may not be a musical, but it does have a soundtrack. Lately, in my head, this song by Jeremy Camp has been on continuous repeat.

Holy fire burn away
My desire for anything
That is not of you and is of me.
I want more of you
And less of me.

Empty me. Empty me.
Fill me with you.

With you.

Think on this.

"Whatever is true ... think about such things." - Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

Ellie rushed into my arms sobbing. As I stroked her back and wiped the tears from her flushed cheeks, she confessed the problem: "Zachary called me a BOY!!"
"Honey, are you a boy?"
"No."
"Then don't worry about it."

She gets her sensitivity from me. It sounds silly for her to be so upset over a little thing like being called a boy, but it was serious to her. It hurts when people say things that aren't true. Over the past month I've lost seven pounds thanks to the stress and criticism diet. And that's without even touching my new Pilates chair! I've been dealing with someone whom I believed to be a friend, but who has chosen to speak and believe lies about me. And these opinions have been shared with others without offering me a single opportunity to respectfully disagree. It's extremely hurtful.

But just like Ellie, I've been focusing on the wrong things. Rather than trying to defend myself or logically argue my side, I need to focus on the truth. I know what has been said about me is not true. I know the source of these lies does not know me well enough to make such harsh judgements. Furthermore, I know Who my true judge is! I need to focus on the truth -- not just the opposite of what is being said, but also the truth of Whom I serve. I don't need people to like me or even be nice to me. I need only to seek God in all things and strive to serve Him perfectly. It is only His opinion of me that matters.

I told Ellie: "You know you're not a boy. I know you're not a boy. Even Zach knows you're not a boy. Think about what is true and don't worry about the rest."

And so I tell myself: "You know you love God. You know you're doing your very best to serve Him. You know He loves you unconditionally. Think about what is true and don't worry about the rest."

"Jesus said, 'If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'" - John 8:31-32 (NIV)

The truth sets us free from the burden to please others, the guilt of falling short, the anger and bitterness caused by injustice, the hurt caused by those who harm us. The truth sets us free from sin and all that results from it.

Are you focusing on truth today? What has been distracting you from the freedom He offers?

A reluctant retraction

I haven't wanted to admit this but ...

The Boy is not fully potty-trained. He WAS!! For three days! Then he changed his mind. For three days and nights we were dry and clean and he initiated every trip to the bathroom. It was beautiful. And so I posted. Then he recanted and now we're back very close to Square One. Today we had three successful potty trips, but probably five messes. (I try not to keep too close track. It's discouraging and I want to stay positive.)

Anyway, just wanted to be honest. I know some of you have had incredible difficulty in potty-training your kids. I didn't want to keep you under the erroneous impression that all is rosy and underwear-clad over here. It's easy to publish success, but not so easy retract it.

Since we on the topic of confession, I also want to mention a few other things. I love to set goals and have done so many times on this blog. I'm not so great at keeping them. I tell you what my goals are, but never tell you when I fail to meet them, which is almost always. Take for example my Bookshelf. Many Tuesdays have come and gone without a single update to that part of this site. And then my New Year's resolutions of working out three times a week. HA! I keep talking about this book I'm writing, but that's about all that's being done on it. Talk. Well, and a little bit of research and regular thinking.

Here's the bottom line: I'm ambitious and have much I aspire to do, but my family always comes first.

Sure, I could be diligent about posting new book reviews or blogging twice a day, but I've got these two "distractions" that always win my attentions. I'd much rather be cloud-watching or puddle-jumping than meeting some arbitrary goal. And that's exactly what they are right now. When my kids are in school all day and I've got nothing better to do, I'll finish that book. I'll post daily and you'll be amazed at my "productivity."

The sunny days of childhood pass far too quickly for moms to spend worrying about meeting some measurable goal. The immeasurable is much more important.

Oh, and before you ask, yes, that is a urinal in the background. He never uses it, but don't you think it looks nice in my living room?

Awareness Test

Spaghettipie posted this video on her blog recently. (If you read both our blogs, I apologize for the redundancy, but just couldn't not post this.)

It reminds me of God. I know, I know ... EVERYTHING reminds me of God! But isn't that the way it's supposed to be? As someone created in His image, a daughter of the King, shouldn't I be centered on Him? Shouldn't He be forever at the forefront of my mind? It's the point of a christian life and this blog -- discovering the extraordinary God in ordinary life. I may be just a stay-at-home mom, but the Creator of the universe finds me daily, so that equals much more than a life of casseroles, people! *grin*

So WHY did this video remind me of God? Well, like I've said before, He's all around us, right in the midst of our lives yet we're so busy looking at other things we sometimes miss Him. The answered prayer. The timely response. The friend who's there right when you need it. The sunset that takes your breath away. The child's contagious laughter. Do you see Him? Or are you failing the awareness test?

Today's Soapbox

Have you seen the commercials for the movie Get Smart? My husband really wants to see this. In one of the commercials Agent Smart is flying through traffic or something next to a minivan. The kid in the back yells out: "Mom! Mom! Mom!" His mother halts her cell phone conversation to yell into the backseat: "Brad! Brad! Brad! Do you see how annoying that is?!"

Every mom can relate. We want to be there for our kids when they really need us, like when some man is flying by the car as we drive or the wrong thing gets flushed down the toilet, but the effect is lost when the "wolf" call is made too many times in less than dire situations. Or when they simply aren't talking to us at all!

Here's an actual conversation from this morning:

Ellie: "Mom!"
Me: "Yeah, babe?"
Ellie: "Mom!"
Me: "Yes?"
Ellie: "Mommy?"
Me: "What?"
Ellie: "Mom-meeeeee!"
Me: "What??"
Ellie: "MOM!!"
Me: "What?!! What do you want?"
Ellie: "Um .... um ... um ..."
And then she drifts off, not even looking at me.
I leave the room.
Three minutes later: "Mom!"
I return already frustrated from the earlier exchange: "Ellie. If you have something to tell me, just tell me. I've answered you a number of times and you're not saying anything. If you call me, talk to me. Do you understand?"
Ellie: "Yes, Mom. Mom?"
Me: "Yes?"
Ellie: "Can I tell you something?"
Me: "Yes?"
Ellie: "Flowers smell nice."

Ten minutes later I hear this from the basement where I'm doing laundry:
"MOM!! I NEED YOU!!!!"
I race up the stairs, but my kids' voices are quite similar so I have no idea who made the distress call. Ellie's sitting on the toilet and Zach is playing cars just outside the bathroom.
Me: "Who needs help?"
Ellie: "Zach."
Zach: "No, I don't."
Me: "Zach, are you okay? Do you need something?"
Zach: "No."
Me: "Ellie, what happened?"
Ellie: "Nothing."
Me: "Did you call me?"
Ellie: "No."
Me: "Who called me?"
Ellie: "I did."
Me: "Why?"
Ellie: "I love you!"

I hate it when people use my name in vain. My mother seemed to think I was being sacriligious the first time I used this phrasing, but this is exactly what I mean to say. I cannot stand it when people call out to me without purpose. If there is no reason to use my name, then don't. It's irritating. Exasperating. And yes, annoying. I love my children to pieces! I love being their mom! But there is no reason for them to scream as if a limb has been severed when all they want to say is that they love me. There are better ways to give me this wonderful message.

Kinda makes me wonder how God feels when His name is used in vain. We say we love Him, to, but how often do we actually say it in a way that shows the heart of that message? You hear a hollow yet emphatic "Jesus" or "God" exclaimed much more frequently than you might hear "Tanya!" or "Oh my John!" I don't want to be a Neuman where my name becomes a curse word and yet that's just what has happened to the name of Christ. My heart cinches every time I hear someone use His name in vain. Can you imagine how hurtful this must be to Him? Imagine how many times God hears people call out to Him without purpose or meaning. Shame on us as a culture.

Adventures in Potty-training

Hey! I've missed you and wanted to tell you so. I also wanted to tell you ... (and I hope I'm not premature in saying so) ... I have no children in diapers!!

Can you feel my excitement?? I have a 2-year-old boy in underwear. Uh-huh! I do! Woo-hoo! Dance with me!! Okay, so he turns three in a couple months, but still. Oh, and we did have one little mess on Sunday, but that was a true accident: he was on the potty, but his trajectory was not. Other great news: he stayed dry all through church yesterday; he slept nine hours last night without waking us up and was still dry this morning! How cool is this?? (Did y'all catch that? I actually got a FULL night's sleep last night!!! I haven't had that since Rick and I went on vacation without the kids! *grin*)

Here are some stats for those of you who, like me, were intimidated by the task thanks to well-meaning warnings of others about how difficult it would be.

We survived the week by going through:

• 18 pairs of underwear (CARS was definitely the most effective. He didn't mind peeing on Elmo or Diego, but Mater and "Ka-Chow" needed to stay dry.)
• 9 Pull-ups (We'll still be using these at night until we're sure he'll stay dry.)
• 8 diapers (We only used these at night and then twice for outings: a trip to the grocery store and another to the preschool awards ceremony -- by the way, congratulations to our daughter for receiving the "Most Fashionable" award!)
• 2 loads of laundry
• 1 1/2 rolls of paper towels
• 1 canister of Lysol disinfectant wipes
• 1/2 jar of Skittles (He's allergic to dairy, so no M&Ms in this house.)
• 8 Matchbox-type cars
• 2 potty seats (one for each floor)
• 1 urinal (It's peter potty cool!)
• a HEAP of patience
• a LOT of dancing (some happy, some peepee)
• a little more crying than I would like (mostly from the girl who wanted to go to the park instead of waiting around for her brother to use the toilet).
• and one booboo (The Boy panicked when he peed on the hardwood floors and started running only to slip in a pool of urine and hit his head on a nearby table. Ouch!)

And for comparison's sake:

The Girl: potty-trained in 3 days at 34 months.
The Boy: potty-trained in 5 days at 34 months.

Note: I had two children in both cases, however, when I potty-trained The Girl, The Boy wasn't mobile yet, he was only five months old. Training then was relatively uninterrupted. This time I had to juggle training with a preschool schedule.

Hope your weeks were just as nice! LOL.

Wordless Wednesday

Sponsored by Wordless Wednesday. Click over to see more pictures worth more than words.

Potty push

I'm posting this now because otherwise my friend Karen will be calling in about twenty minutes to complain that I haven't posted since Thursday. I simply can't take the peer pressure. Or the guilt. This post is a preemtive measure. It's also just a quick note to let you know why I'm not around. Well, I hope to be around some, but I won't be here as much as usual, if at all. (My mother has always told me I think like a spider web; I spiral around and around taking a thousand tangents before getting to the point. These stream of consciousness posts clearly reflect that - don't they?)

We're making a push toward the potty. Yup, it's time. I've been putting this off forever because ... well, I just don't want to do it! Didn't I just finish potty-training a child?? The calendar says Ellie's been in panties for almost two years, but still. I'm a natural procrastinator. And everyone has totally freaked me out with the "boys are so much harder" speeches. FYI: warnings aren't much encouragement unless you can provide helpful tips, people! *grin* Actually, I'm kind of excited about it. It will be SO NICE to have both kids out of diapers.

I may post in the evenings, but if I can't, just know I'll be back before too long.

We have a problem.

Ellie is convinced we're having a baby. We're not. Let me say that again: we are not currently planning to have another child. The discussion is not permanently sealed, but right now, conception is not on the agenda. Our daughter believes otherwise. In fact, she thinks babies are already inside me waiting to come out. Oh, yes, we have a problem.

The weather has been great, so we've been outside a lot more, walking, going to parks and playgrounds. Ellie infoms every person we meet that we're having a baby. She's also decided this baby is a girl and her name is Lily. She's tells everyone that too. I can't get her to stop, no matter how many times I interrupt her before innocent passersby are lied to and then begin congratulating me. She just smiles sweetly and tells me once again that she needs "someone to push around." Her powers of persuasion build muscle as she regales me with stories of her big sister skills and what a great helper she is.

She even told her father we were going to have a new baby. "Where are we getting this baby?" he asked. Her answer: "From Mommy's tummy. That's where babies come from, Daddy."

Last night was the tipping point. I crossed over from "this is cute" to "we've got to do something about this." While cuddling under some blankets Ellie asked me to tell her about when she and Zach were born. I gave the stories in a way that delighted her. She's only four, so I kept the tales politely G-rated while still offering the excitement her imagination requires. I explained how they grew and grew and then finally decided to come out. Ellie told my body she was ready, but Zach wasn't quite sure he wanted to come out. We needed to tell him it was time. She smiled, that adorable twinkle in her eye, then cupped her hands around her mouth and leaned against my stomach. "COME OUT, LILY!! IT'S TIME TO COME OUT!!!

Help. Please.




This photo, a flashback to almost three years ago, is courtesy of We are THAT Family and the weekly 'Fro Me to You linky.

Our Ellie is definitely hoping to recreate the scene. These two have changed a lot, haven't they? My girl had curls, but no hair! :) Makes me smile.

If I were the king of the forest ...

I learned a lot more in college than I remember. I know I did! Much of knowledge stored and facts memorized have long since left my brain. I don't even remember all my professors. One, however, is permanently etched in my mind: Professor Tom Allen. It's not his classes I remember (I think I had him for Pauline Epistles ... or was it one of my doctrine classes?). I don't remember him because of some eccentric behavior or dress (as opposed to my speech teacher who always reminded me of a crayon or my Poetics teacher who did unusual reenactments of venereal diseases). I'm sure Mr. Allen was a great teacher, but more than any of his lectures, I remember his passion for the Gospel. I remember his sincere, uninhibited desire to see everyone come to know Christ.

I remember him telling of a time when he was in college when his car broke down on I-95 and he needed to hitch a ride to make it to class on time. The guy who picked him up wasn't too keen on God. He told my professor if he mentioned the name of Jesus one more time, he would stop the car and drop him. He did and found himself immediately stranded on the side of the highway.

Last summer in our alumni magazine Mr. Allen wrote an article entitled "Accidental Evangelism." There he described a literal accident that turned into a veritable opportunity to share Christ. He hit someone with his car then had the brazen courage to share the Gospel with him while they waited for the authorities to arrive. The other driver listened attentively and even called later with questions. Before long he went to church with him and eventually came to know Christ.

This is the type of courage I want! This is the character I want to emulate. I'm always praying God will give me obvious chances to serve Him, but when faced with these accidental encounters, I lock my lips. Why? Just this weekend I cowered in the face of opportunity.

While checking out at the grocery store, Ellie pulled a Bible from my purse. (I have one of those cute little pocket-sized Bibles I keep with me always. It's good reading while waiting in the doctor's office!) The cashier was so curious. He stretched and leaned trying to decipher what she had. With surprise he asked "Is she reading a Bible?" I confirmed, yes, then made some cynical comment about it being more effective if she actually knew how to read. He said something about there being much in there to learn, but I didn't respond. I didn't say anything! could an opportunity be any more obvious? I could have shared the Gospel with him or at least invited him to church, but I didn't. I simply encouraged Ellie to be careful with the Bible and continued stuffing sacks of food into our cart.

I read two great posts about courage in evangelism today. They challenged and encouraged me. Take a look: Do you have the courage to teach? by Marcus over at GoodwordEditing.com and Second Life by Heather A. Goodman.

May Ellie-isms & Zach Attacks

As always, the start of a new month brings a new collection of kid quotes. Here's another glimpse of why I love being a mom. They crack me up.

***

Zach: "Oh, Mommy, you look boo-tiful!"

Ellie: "Look! It has Sleeping Beauty on it."
Me: "Actually, it's Snow White."
Ellie: "Don't you know? Sleeping Beauty is the Spanish way to say Snow White."

Zach: "Mama, I'm gonna give you a kiss now. It's gonna be a BIG ONE! Are you ready? Here it comes!"

Ellie: "Hoo-hoo-hoo is the Spanish word for whistle." (Obviously, the girl is convinced she knows more Spanish than I do. Maybe so, but I'm pretty sure there's a better way to say "whistle" in espanol.)

Zach: "Mommy, you're my best friend 'cause I like you."

Ellie: (while wearing a grass skirt) "Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Look, Mom! I'm doin' the 'Hallelujah Dance!'" (I think she meant 'hula.')

Me: "Zach, please don't eat food off the van floor."
Zach: "I'm not eating; I'm chewing."
Me: "What are you chewing?"
Zach: "Food."

Ellie: "That's why I'm the big sister, Mom. 'Cause I always know just what to do for little brothers."